I am not the most politically inclined person, however, this political season has me as enthralled as a Shonda Rhimes drama on ABC. To me, it’s like the Titans in the Gladiator Battles in the Coliseum in Ancient Rome. The glossy, gladiator-like candidates enter the Coliseum, donned in their best battle gear, supported by their patrons who wave their flags, wear their t-shirts and sport their bumper stickers on the backs of their chariots. And one by one, each polished contestant picked off by the media lions, the carrions whisking away their mauled cadavers with nary a trace. Emperor Establishment looks on, weary from the lack-luster efforts of so many contestants who under-served his agenda. Some gladiators, his lions ravaged far too swiftly for his taste, earning them none of his respect. No, he preferred those they took apart slowly, carefully, pulling apart each seam, picking each bone with precision. It was those he could laugh at, those he could mock for even attempting to be something the audience at the Coliseum thought it wanted. Emperor Establishment knows what the people want; it’s what he wants and nothing more. It hurts his ears; how loud they scream! How they pound their fists and stomp their feet for the gladiators that he most desperately doesn’t want to see rule the ring. But he keeps them there, though unwillingly, because if he doesn’t the crowd might rise up, they might take a stand and they might make the Coliseum collapse. The rules of the land dictate that they have a voice and a choice and that their word matters. So long as he allows them to think their candidate stands a chance and the odds are fair, the spectators will remain captive to the status quo. Sure, they will grumble among themselves. They will pick sides. They will argue to the point of violence about who they feel the best gladiator is. Some will stoop to shaming others, some will bow to apathy, still others will take advantage of the unrest and confusion and stick their hand out expecting other spectators to fill their palms. But so long as the dissent doesn’t reach Emperor Establishment’s doorstep, the moaning of the masses means nothing. But for some reason, the underdogs, the untrained, unpolished gladiators, the “outsiders” are beating Emperor Establishment’s best fighters. Not all the time, not handily, but they keep taking chunks of the armor of the Emperor’s favorites. But should the media lions fail to successfully poison the opinions of the public, the Emperor still has one last trick up his sleeve, the unbound, super snakes. The snakes that the spectators in a few sections of the Coliseum had the chance to vote for. The Emperor gave them a choice to choose the snakes that would represent them in situations like this. And they chose their favorite snake, allowing it to choose, without their further consent, which fighter the snake would strike down and which the snake would spare for the Emperor’s final Battle Of Champions. But to Emperor Establishment’s shock, even the elected super snakes are not all favoring the Emperor’s choice. And the Establishment’s gladiator’s are being forced to leave the circle. The Emperor no longer can choose a thumbs up or down through an exertion of his authority; the will of the people, according to the rule of the land, will make the final decision. And with that decision, they can crumble the Establishment and rebuild it into the representation they truly desire. This leaves the Emperor, quaking in his sandals made of leather and built in China, because he’s dominated for so long, he never thought his people, those he represents, would use their inalienable rights to invoke true change. Look, I am no fan of any of my choices this upcoming November. In fact, I find them each in their own way. repulsive. I will need to meditate thoroughly on who I will cast a ballot for. But not because I am voting FOR that candidate, but rather against the other. I will not cast a vote for someone because I’ve watched their TV show or stayed in their hotel or gambled in their casino. Nor will I vote for someone because we share genitalia or because she’d be the “first”. I don’t feel that any of these are reasons to vote for anyone ever. But among the quick sand that is the political “gladiator” arena, there are a couple of things this election has shown me that have given me faith in American politics. Anyone can run for President. You don’t have to be a career politician to become your party’s candidate for President. It’s part of the whole American Dream mentality that is sadly leaving the culture of this country. People’s votes do count. Look how far Bernie Sanders has come and how those who are voting for him have impacted Hillary Clinton’s campaign! Look at how Donald Trump’s voters have made him their party’s choice, over and above so many career politicians. Every American’s vote counts, every voice is heard. The campaigns of Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump prove that. Is it possible for Donald Trump to choose Bernie Sanders as his choice for Vice President? Establishment heads would utterly explode. We would hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth of politicians in Washington from the Atlantic to the Pacific should that happen. Two outsiders, two people who the majority of the country supports and backs, working together for the good of the American people? Taking the great divide between parties and straddling that morass and bringing people together? Would that be the worst thing? To stand united? To work for the same goals? What would happen if we put aside out own personal agendas, our own penchant for getting offended about every little thing and actually worked together for the greater good?

A few days ago, I read an article from the New York Post slamming Jessica Alba and her “Honest Company” products. I will disclaim that I am a customer of the Honest Company and I’ve been more than pleasantly surprised by the quality of the products I have used. But it wasn’t so much the insult that “my” products and choices were criticized, but the tone of the entire article that was so trite and opinionated, it made my stomach churn.

The author of the article was quite insistent about the fact that Jessica Alba is a liar and her insulting lies have built her a billion dollar industry. And no one should lie like that. Her stuff has chemicals in it after all. And Jessica uses scare tactics to gain customers built on lies and other falsehoods. And dammit, no one should fall for that! No one should ever buy her products. She’s an actress and should stick to that. And she should be ashamed of herself, fleecing the American public of their hard earned dollars based on being a prevaricator. How dare she!

Doesn’t every company do that though in an effort to make a buck? Don’t ALL companies make claims that they are the best, the only, the pinnacle? I’m the most honest, so you should trust me. I am very hard to get so you should be willing to pay whatever to get me. This actress uses my products so you could be as cool as her if you use them too. I was created on family values so if you use my competitor who isn’t well, you’re not family oriented. I can cure your disease, but be prepared there might be some side-effects for SOME people.

So why was the “Honest Company” singled out in this article and not other companies who make similar claims and who lie just as hard? Maybe because there is an actress heading it, not some faceless corporation. So, it’s easier to point fingers directly at her and vilify her because she has a face you can look at and try to demean and trash. And isn’t that what America has become as of late? Staring at someone else, judging them because they don’t agree with you and vilifying them to the point of making them irrelevant and hated? I’m tired of it.

And I’m especially tired of “journalists” taking this editorial approach to spewing un-cited “facts” not with the intention of creating questions in the reader and challenging them to make a choice, but to create a devilish, lying hoesbeast out of Jessica Alba (or insert anyone with any notoriety). It’s that push to “take a side” and if it’s not my side, it’s wrong and I will sully you, slander you and bully you until you admit you’re an idiot. I am so over it.

So, pick a product that is right for you. If you like “Honest Company” products, use them. Don’t be bullied not to. Do your research, find what works for you and your family. That’s why we are blessed to have so many choices here in America. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re a lesser person because you’ve chosen to use a product, support an idea, like a public figure, choose clothing you like, parent in the way you choose, follow a faith that you like, marry the person you choose. We are all individuals and we ARE in this country allowed to make our own choices. And we are deserving of the RESPECT for our choices and opinions even if someone else disagrees. Don’t let popular opinion tell you otherwise.

And for what it’s worth, “Honest Company” has the best stain remover ever created and their butt rash cream is better than anything else I’ve ever used (for the babies people – come on!). And that’s my opinion. Come vilify me for it, or respect me for it even if you disagree. I like that idea much, much better.

Self Awareness Is Key….

As I was listening to Alt Nation on Sirius XM (because I won’t listen to terrestrial radio anymore, ever, at all) on came “I Don’t Want To Be An Asshole Anymore” by The Menzingers.  I realized self awareness is key. This guy knows he’s an asshole, he knows he sucks and dammit, he’s trying to change. I commend that.

But when you’re a self-aware asshole hell-bent on trying to change yourself, how do you measure your success? Does one less person on the highway give you the finger? Do three people at work not mutter ‘asshole’ as they walk away from you? Does your boy/girlfriend not scream at you and throw things at you as often as they used to? And I realized the measure of success is pretty much self assured. If you go through your day and one less person flips you off and you consider that success, then go for it. Or, you could take it a measure further and actually try to do something nice for someone and not expect anything in return. Perhaps this asshole will grow enough in their life so they can become an acceptable and productive member of society.

My dad (God bless his soul) had a theory that I have come to adopt in my life. Some people are A’s (pronounced Ahhh). They are assholes. If you’re an A, you can redeem yourself and become a normal person again. But once you become a TA (yep, you got it, pronounced T-Ahhh) you’re a Total Asshole. There’s no redemption from that status. You can try, but you’re such an asshole, you’re bound to slip and sink to TA status once again. It’s been scientifically proved this can happen in a matter of mere hours. I know, I’ve seen it happen. 

In a world full of TA’s and A’s, it’s important to separate yourself from them and stand out on your own and be a good person. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes the easiest way to combat a TA or an A is to be one yourself. You must resist. It’s imperative to the continuation of the human race as a compassionate, self-reliant entity that you don’t devolve to their level. You must treat a TA and A with total kindness. It makes them crack under the pressure. They don’t fully understand it. An A might, in fact, recognize their asshole-ness and change. In that case, you’ve done your duty as a human. Good on you, mate! And on behalf of other humans, thank you.

I hope the lead singer of The Menzingers has found his success and is no longer an asshole. And if you haven’t heard the song, it’s freakin’ awesome. Do yourself and favor and give it a listen. It’s lots of fun.